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In
the late sixties my friends and I made the transition from the age of
innocence to the age of rebellion. By the time I had reached fifteen I
had already experienced many of the things that parents warn their
children against. First there was alcohol, then marijuana, and
eventually the most dangerous drugs. As the consequences of this kind
of life style became more evident, one of my friends began to search
for an alternative. Eventually he introduced us to his new friends who
called themselves the Jesus People. One of these young men
began to tell us about Jesus, and even appeared to look like him, long
hair, beard, and all. The new things I learned made a big impression
since I already knew what I had been doing was wrong. Therefore when I
was offered the opportunity to have Jesus as my Savior I gladly agreed.
I went home that night feeling that my life had been changed, even
looking in the mirror to see if my appearance had changed also. But the
very next day a friend asked me to smoke some marijuana with him, and
though I knew that it was wrong, I agreed to do so. I clearly remember
that sense of relief experienced the night before being replaced by the
numbing feeling of a drug high. That sense of God's presence did not
return to me again until I was twenty six years of age.
Much had passed in my life by that time; the despair of divorce, the
moral chaos of the seventies, and the rise and decline of my dreams.
The emptiness of these experiences had at times shaken me deeply, but
rather than recognizing my need for God I simply plunged deeper into
the old life style. My past plans for education had long been discarded
for the short term pleasures of the moment. I was now unable to remain
faithful, even in those relationships I cared about. In most ways I had
become very cynical, and when asked by a friend what I thought of God I
simply responded by saying, "I don't even believe there is a God."
Then in May of 1980 the explosion of Mt. St. Helens awakened my
sleeping world. When I first heard the news of this startling event I
wondered what it might mean. Someone told me that I could see the
volcano's plume from Bothell so I walked outside to look at what I
expected to be a distant sight, but it appeared to me that the volcano
was at the end of the highway and the black cloud was towering up and
over everything. Immediately a question came to my mind, "I wonder if
there really is a God?" Then it was as though God spoke directly to my
heart, "Be still! And Know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10). Soon after
that I began attending the first church I was aware of, in which the
Pastor taught about David, "A man after God's own heart." I knew this
was not what I had been living and that I needed a change of heart. As
I began to learn more about the holy and loving life of Jesus, a strong
desire arose in my heart to find out more about who he really was. I
read every book I could find about him, but I was frustrated by my lack
of power to follow his example, which I now felt was the way, the truth
and the life.
Then one day, as I read the New Testament, I came upon Hebrews 10:26,27
which says, "If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received
the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a
fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume
the enemies of God." In a moment I saw that it was my sinful rebellion
that had kept me from knowing who Jesus was -- He was the LORD. His
holy and loving life had drawn me to him, but now my sins could
separate me from him -- for eternity. There was only one choice; I
asked God to forgive me and submitted myself to him as my Savior and
Lord.
Immediately after that I had the power to overcome those particular
things that had previously mastered me. I finally had a sense of
assurance that I knew Jesus personally. I didn't realize how important
this would be to my future happiness, but I decided to tell Dorothy
what God had done for me and ask her forgiveness for not treating her
as she deserved in our long past relationship. When we finally met I
remember seeing her as though for the first time; her personal beauty,
but especially her inner beauty which I had really never seen before.
Now we were able to re-establish our relationship based on a mutual
faith in Christ with him as the Lord of our lives. We learned, through
the scriptures, where we had gone wrong in previous years and committed
ourselves to following Jesus into the future. God's forgiveness allowed
us to have a truly new beginning and it was then that I learned that
Dorothy's name meant "a gift from God." We were encouraged to seek
counseling, and allow some time, and then God blessed us with marriage
in our home church.
God has given us two wonderful children and a very happy marriage, and
I am thankful to say we are growing together in our faith in Christ.
Just as I know there are times when my God given gifts have been used
to strengthen the faith of my wife, I have also learned that God's
creation in Dorothy has been used to strengthen me in ways I never
realized I needed. There have been times over the years that I have
doubted my personal strengths and abilities, even in those areas in
which I was highly motivated, but now Dorothy is able to encourage and
challenge me to seek the limits of God's gift's and purpose for our
family. There have also been times when Dorothy has doubted the value
of her personal qualities, even when affirmed by so many, but now I can
express to her what I have been allowed to see, "All beautiful you are,
my darling; there is no flaw in you." (Song of Songs 4:7) Together we
set the family goal for me to return to the university to complete my
study in the sciences, but now with the purpose of teaching about the
creation and the Creator.
The only regret I have ever felt about my decision to follow Christ is
that I did not choose to obey him earlier in life. There are many ways
in which such regrets can weigh down the heart, particularly when
considering the lost opportunities that will never return. However, God
has used these feelings for a good purpose by motivating me to work
with youth as an encourager of the benefits of following Jesus Christ
as Lord at the beginning of one's life. I can now say that I have never
experienced any reason to regret my decision to yield to the Lordship
of Christ in my life. The Apostle Paul has explained this experience by
saying, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those
who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans
8:28)
Today there are many who positively affirm Jesus with fine sentiments,
but when extended a call for personal response they will turn away from
the Jesus who claims to be Lord. There are many reasons given, but they
usually fall into one of the following categories: the hypocrisy of a
certain leader, the supposed irrelevance of the Christian message, or
various philosophical problems. It is my personal conviction that these
concerns should be honestly addressed by those who confess the name of
Christ, and to this end I have invested a great deal of energy. I
believe that if we claim to follow the one who called himself "the
truth" (John 14:6), we should encounter every situation looking
expectantly for that truth to be borne out in the real world.
Christians should engage all the domains of learning honestly without
fear of finding something that will undermine their faith. The sphere
of engagement must encompass all knowledge, whether it is acquired
through science, reason, or history. Through my efforts, to varying
degrees, in each of these areas I have become convinced that the laws
of science, the constraints of reason, and all historical evidence are
fully in accord with the Christian world view. Once again, I can
honestly say that I have never encountered any reason to doubt the
claims of Jesus Christ as Lord of the universe.
Christians believe that the Lordship of Jesus was ultimately vindicated
by his resurrection from the dead. I believe that all of the Hebrew
scriptures, in one way or another, speak prophetically of the one "who
through the Spirit of holiness was declared with power to be the Son of
God by his resurrection from the dead: Jesus Christ our Lord." (Romans
1:4, see Acts 2:27-32 & Psalm 16:10) Further, I have found the
historical evidence for this claim to be consistent and convincing for
anyone who will use the same standards that are normally applied to
other great historical events. For me, the evidence is decisive and has
led me to believe that the resurrection of Jesus is the single most
trust worthy fact of history. Though I have found great assurance
through discovering the evidence that supports this most foundational
claim of the Christian faith, there is a far more practical reason that
I can believe in the resurrection of Jesus. I am thankful to say that I
can believe in Jesus' resurrection because he raised my life
from the dead.
2-3-96
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